Visibility

makes a difference

After several Pride flags were stolen from my yard, I experienced a myriad of emotions. First, discouragement. Then a bit of anger. I started to feel alone—and in total transparency, I think the feeling I struggled most with was fear.

I could only guess what would motivate someone to repeatedly come into our yard and rip down our flag. If someone was brazen enough to do that…

What else might they be capable of?

More importantly, was continuing to hang yet another Pride flag worth the risk of finding out?

In hopes of solving the mystery of the missing flags, I mustered all the queer courage in me and started talking to neighbors. I nervously walked from one door to the next. Neighbors seemed surprised, and I received many kind apologies—but I uncovered not a shred of evidence to quell my fear.

What I did discover is the reason I’ll continue to replace my Pride flag—despite the fear, no matter how many times it may disappear. At one of the homes I visited, a teen I’d never seen in the neighborhood joined their father as we chatted.

“I know your house! I love seeing your Pride flag… Thank you for not giving up.”

Those words were a gift—simple, yet so deeply meaningful. They reminded me that I’m not alone in my community, and that visibility makes a difference—two ideas I might still be questioning if I hadn’t received such a message.

That moment inspired me to do the same.

So when I see a home sharing messages of hope and support, I send them a little note.

I want people to know they’re seen and appreciated.
I want you to know you’re not alone.